Babs in Blogland

I first met Safety back in the fall when I was hosting a social gathering of some of the brown folks at the plantation. Intern was coming because his company is closely related to mine. He mentioned that his female coworker was coming too. I was a bit suprised because I thought I was the only older woman in his life (boy was I wrong about that). I couldn’t wait to meet this Safety person and size her up. I looked at her as competition for the Intern’s attention.

The moment I met Safety I was smitten. You know when you meet someone and you are like-minded. That’s how I felt about her. She was beautiful, smartly dressed and had a fantastic personality. It was like looking in the mirror! By the end of the evening I had gotten those digits. She would be added to my circle of friends.

The friendship has gone quite well. Despite the Intern’s initial protests. Safety is a good time! Which is why it makes me very sad to have to terminate this relationship. Effective immediately. You see, even though Safety is smart, pretty and fun, she is also PURE EVIL.

Last night was our monthly Girl’s Night Out. Safety wanted to go to Loca Luna because she had never been. I have been numerous times, but I hadn’t been to the new location. If you haven’t been it is way better than the old location. More seating, more space and fewer undesirables outside.

The crew: Babs, Safety, Deuce, Chesty LaRue and…..I still cannot think of a name for her. Let’s call her Little Miss. (hey Little Miss!)

The evening started out grand despite a 90 minute delay. The ladies were looking lovely, as usual, and we were all in a festive mood. We started with a cocktail at the bar while waiting for our table. Caipirinhas were the drink of choice for the evening.

By the time we were seated we were feeling most excellent. Our waiter, Joey, came to the table and said “how are you ladies this evening?”. Little Miss responded with “I’d like Lane’s Penis”. The other four of us all snapped our heads her way like WTF?!? Where did that come from? Well, Little Miss had been perusing the drink menu and found a delightful concoction called Lane’s Penis and thought Joey asked if he could get us any drinks. We laughed hysterically at that slip of the tongue.

From there, it was uphill. Or downhill depending on which player you were in the crew. We made friends with a group of people sitting at a table next to us. We were laughing and screaming. Our table started with WHOOO-HOOOOOO and they joined in. Soon other tables were joining in and it’s like our whole section of the restaurant was whooping it up for no good damn reason. Which made it even funnier!

Jeff, from the other group kept coming over to our table and hanging out. Babs kept standing up and dancing salsa all by her dammy. When that got old I moved to the dance floor where I danced either by myself, with Jeff or with Jeff’s dad who was pushing 70 and surprisingly a much better dancer than his son.

I know all of this sounds fun and you are wondering what this has to do with Safety being PURE EVIL. Let me tell you. Safety has a bad habit of buying rounds of shots for everyone. And Babs has a bad habit of drinking them. So in addition to our caipirinhas, we had shots of I have no idea what. I would look up and there would be a little glass in my hand. Sweet, smooth likker passing the lips and sliding down my throat. PURE EVIL.

The result, Babs was in total Wild Child mode. I shall spare you the details so as to protect myself the innocent. But just know, the next time I go out with these broads I’m taking Keyalus. I know SHE will be the angel on my right shoulder while Safety is perched on my left.