Babs in Blogland

Did I ever tell you about my first Brazilian wax? Oooh, weee that story goes down as one of the most traumatic events of my life. Tyra called it a kitty cat wax on ANTM the other night, and henceforth that is what I’ll be calling it! It was earlier this year…

Having been a strictly bikini wax type of girl, I decided to go Brazilian after a conversation with a friend in which she raved about it and how much cheaper it was than at a fancy spa. I had just finished getting “my hair did” and dropped by the establishment to check it out and make an appointment. To my surprise they had an opening and could take me right away. Even though I wasn’t mentally prepared I said sure and decided to go for it. The owner introduced me to the girl who would be doing my wax. She didn’t speak english.

WARNING: Never let your first brazilian wax be from someone that doesn’t speak english.

So I gave the owner specific instructions about how much I wanted removed. Basically, I asked for a bikini wax. I wasn’t quite ready to have it ALL removed. Baby steps! He relayed the information to my waxer, waxologist, or whatever you call her. In hindsight he probably said something like this, “Sylvia, after you’re finished with this chick you can go ahead and take your lunch break.” Cause I know that fool said nothing about not removing all my hair!

She led me back to a room that was separated by a curtain. Someone else was getting serviced on the other side of the curtain. Not exactly what I would call privacy.

Now I was used to going to the spa for a bikini wax. At the spa they give you a little pair of disposable panties, or you can keep your own on. Not here. I stripped down to my panties and got on the table and looked at me like I was crazy and GRABBED MY PANTIES AND PULLED THEM OFF OF ME. Gee, could she at least buy me dinner first?! She took away all my Victoria’s secrets! Then she took my panties and tossed them in the chair in the corner with the rest of my clothes. That should have been my queue to get up and walk out. This lady was clearly not gentle.

So the waxing commenced and it wasn’t that bad. Just a regular bikini wax. Then, the point of no return, she put a big hot strip of wax where I REALLY wasn’t expecting it. Rip! That’s when I started screaming. And sweating. I said to her, “this isn’t a bikini wax!” She started laughing at me and then said to the girl on the other side of the curtain something in Portuguese. Then she repeated what I said. So it sounded something like this, “stromshdfhsd sodhfoisdfd skdhfoisdf this isn’t a bikini wax!” Hold up, I thought this chick didn’t speak english and now she was mocking me!

So the girl on the other side of the curtain, who would later become my new best friend, came over and asked if I was okay. I explained to her that I just wanted a bikini wax and not a brazilian. She looked at me like I was crazy and said, “you want to leave hair down there?”

Well it was too late, half of my field of dreams was already gone so the lady had to finish the other side. I had to squirm and sweat through the next 20 minutes. When she finished I stood to dress, and I really felt violated.

I loved the end result and did go back the following month. I told them I needed someone that spoke english. They led me to Carol, the nice girl from the other side of the curtain. Carol and I have been seeing each other every month since then. She is great! She has a gentle touch, and makes the kitty kat wax as pleasant as possible. She also speaks great english, so when I tell her to leave me a couple of bushes outside of the cave she knows exactly what I want!